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IMG-The Innkeepers
 Review Date:
2 March 2012

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Ti West's attempt to fire a 16 pound ball broadside into movieland's studio fortress and big money P/R was a fizzler here at my house. It would be easy to criticize plenty (story, continuity, direction, clarity, scene diversity, camera art, etc), but there were a couple of compelling flares of excellence. I want to send my congratulations to the audio engineers who recorded and balanced the ghost piano scenes. I strained to hear the wispy audio background and (almost imaginary) etherial sounds. It sounded real. Outstanding. The other flames that illuminated my viewing room were Sara Paxton's youthful room clerk (strong, willing, but vulnerable) character, and George Riddle, who held back his tornado (Joad Cressbeckler) style, to offer effective dark melancholy-laced intrigue. Other characters didn't give me any shivers...even your mis-cast gray and dull ex-movie star crystal baller McGillis. Ti, figure out some other way to break into the big time film industry. The Innkeepers was screened at a little avenue theater a hundred and twenty miles from my house, but I think the film folded before it premiered. I finally watched on the same pay per view cable channel that is offering “Schleppy Gets His Dog Collar”. Get yourself some music to set a mood. Speed things up. We viewers figured out how you made this twenty minute tale into a 90 minute movie...slow motion. It really shows. Not highly recommended.

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Guest Review from Sly Fox

I had good expectations for this movie since I know one of the cast. However, great expectations expired after about one half hour into this slow-moving and thoroughly predictable offering. As I watched it, I was so bored that I made a little game of trying to predict which obvious little things would later be significant in the plot. For example, the asthma inhaler, the chain on the basement door, the final disposition of the old man, etc., etc. I certainly did not need to see how poorly Kelly McGillis has aged from the hot chick in Top Gun. Tom Cruise would be horrified. When not trying to predict the story plot, I had fun trying to figure out where the two young innkeepers got their hair styles. And then why the character played by Kelly McGillis (I can’t even remember her name) had to wear a night mask when it would have been so much easier to just turn off her bedside lamp. As you can see by this review, I didn’t see much in this movie to bother writing about. The Academy awards did not have a category for most boring movie, otherwise The Innkeepers might have brought home an Oscar. As the final credits rolled, I just had to get some excitement in my life so I went home and trimmed by toenails. My biggest regret is my friend paying his cable company $4 or so for this stinker. I promise to make it up to him. Rating: 2 stars out of 10, both going to the old man in the bathtub. I hope he got extra pay for doing his first nude scene.

7 Responses to “The Innkeepers”

  1. Fetzer Bontrager says:

    Strange sounding movie. Reviewers seem to be running away from this film as fast as possible. I’ll forego this one.

  2. Anonymouth says:

    Collusion between reviewers and cast is punishable by flogging

  3. F. Gerald Fitz-Scott says:

    Don’t look at me. I stick to pleasant themes. Did this story try to imply that the male innkeeper was complicit in the ghostly parts?

  4. Am. Psy. Inst. says:

    Why were all the characters written as actors/entertainment wannabes

  5. Hard to lift this movie up. Dead weight.

  6. Audie says:

    Gotta see about this reference to “exceptional audio” technique. Where is this movie playing now?

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